Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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