Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
