Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
