My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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