I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize