the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
