Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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