I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
