What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
