Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
