i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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