We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
