I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
