yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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