Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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