well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
