just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
