Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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