i would punch a child for taco bell
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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