Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
