Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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