I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I need to stop coming to work sober
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
