Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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