I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
