The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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