Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Also, beer. Big fan.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
