Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
