I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
