Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize