Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
