my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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