Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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