Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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