You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
