jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
