your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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