i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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