you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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