Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
