the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
