that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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