Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I can't put those talents on a resume
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
