one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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