I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
