yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
