So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
