how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
