do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
