Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
