Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I cockslap morals
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
