maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
