Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
