Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
