i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize