I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
