i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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