i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
