soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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