I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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