My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
