u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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