Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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