lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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