you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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